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horny for a meaningful relationship

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a person complaining about puns basically invites every pun enthusiast in the vicinity to come snapping rhythmically from the shadows 


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A Republican political ad targeted at women.

I snorted.

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When someone asks how I prepared for the audition 




OMG so I’m not alone!

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Woop woop! I got the job because one time in AP gov I volunteered for a local campaign.

        Tags: #that was five years ago   #for like   #10 hours or something  
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I’m last in line to be interviewed for this temporary job. I’m worried that means I won’t get the job. Bleerraaaarrgh

Posted 5 hours ago | Reblog | 17243 Notes

And now Klaus is apparently running off to go and save Sunny. In the books of course it is Violet, but I know that Hollywood prefers its female actresses to do very little.

Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events audio commentary (via literatureloveaffair)

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Posted 8 hours ago | Reblog | 12579 Notes




Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf

If you’re not already excited about Rob Cantor you will be now.

You know sometimes the way the news is lately leaves me feeling a little hopeless, but then something like this comes along and my wonder and delight in humanity is restored a smidge.

It moves me to tears.

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  • 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
  • 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
  • 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?
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why do darkspawn have money?

is there a darkspawn market somewhere?

did i just kill them for their lunch money????????

The Archdemon kissing each and every Darkspawn forehead as they leave, giving them lunch money and making sure their sword is sharp enough before wiping its claws on its floral apron and returning to itss hiding spot

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not that cup

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Probably my favorite thing about Bob’s Burgers is that they don’t do that thing where the characters try to one-up each other with an endless barrage of jokes? No, the characters react like actual people instead. They actually laugh or chuckle when somebody says something actually funny and/or weird. They stop mid-sentence. They do double-takes. And it all feels so very natural, because that is exactly what common people do. And that is such a refreshing change of pace, when you consider the fact that the norm in these things is to have jokes relentlessly thrown at you at break-necking speed.

also the comedy doesn’t rely on the parents hating and berating eachother idk i love that

it shows how you don’t need to be offensive to be funny

general banter is the best way to write dialogue

I also like that he prefers his wife’s idea over a complement from his role model because he thinks it’s legitimately funny and clever. Most sitcom husbands belligerently disregard anything that comes out of their wife’s mouth, much less acknowledge when they’re being humorous.

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the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation

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